Friday, December 24, 2010

More of the Helsing-Dracula situation

    Igor shows me evidence from a succession of hidden camera video feed files demonstrating that Detective Helsing is no longer in residence at Deichtenstein's Inn. Then he shows me some infrared and satellite images indicating that something about the size of a skinny bear or man may be camped on a high ridge across the valley. Bears don't stay in one place like this. The strategic location of it's position keeps us from directly spotting what or who it might be with the telescope or far ranging infrared imager, it is behind a large ridge fold about twelve kilometers away. I forget just enough geology to be able to describe this rock formation accurately by it's given term. I instruct Igor to keep an eye out by a hack into (name of sovereign country)'s surveillance satellites as they pass over to see if whatever or whoever this is ever moves itself into a line of sight position with our castle.
   If this is Helsing himself and he is camping up there with some new manner of surveillance device of his own then he is isolated from the view of other mortals. From where he is if I can't see him then no one in the village can see him. This valley is remarkably picturesque for it's unique rock formations. Even if he moved to where I could see him then still no one in the village could see him, the lower ridges occlude a line of sight from it's location to that high spot. I wonder if he has noticed that he can't see the village from where he is. Further maintained surveillance on our part will reveal if he is in contact with anyone; if anyone is bringing up supplies, etc. If he has a cell phone he would need a solar charger, and would only have about six hours of direct sunlight to charge the batteries, the ridges here are that steep. If he is operating some kind of electronic surveillance device it too would need batteries...but if it was set up on a line of sight to our castle then it would receive about three hours of additional sunlight, and he could be monitoring the device from behind the ridge outcrop wall formation thing, whatever it is called. 
  I summon Igor back to get him to look carefully to see if he can also spot some kind of small device on a line of sight to us situated on the ridge facing us, in front of this hiding spot. I suppose I could laser away part of the occluding rock formation, but there is a sheep farm in the hills below where the many tons of rock debris would fall. That translates into another episode with the torches and sharp farm implements outside our main gate, and rude behavior towards any interns unaccompanied in the village by Igor. Also of late the American intelligence community seems to have a real talent for detecting the use of high energy particle projection devices anywhere on the surface of the earth. Except they call them "weapons" or "your laser cannon" in the explicitly terse communiques I have received from them after some recent test shots aimed at the moon. I'm fairly sure I didn't hit anything with their flag on it, they didn't send me a bill.   
  All current index A4 specimens are all away to various corners of the globe, doing what I designed them to do best. The index A4 specimen server cluster monitors and archives all incoming signals. We are currently out of inventory any kind of organism that I could program to go over there just to watch Helsing from up close without the risk that the same organism would try to eat him.  Had not Dracula asked that I seek some course of action that will inspire Helsing's return to that neck of the woods (heh) in Romania where Dracula lurks and into the waiting fangs of his number two bride I would probably set about the use of that hungry organism forthwith.
 Let's see what the satellites tell us.